I’ve been enjoying watching the meteoric rise of Kareem Rahma’s popular SubwayTakes series. By now you’ve probably seen him interviewing celebrities, politicians, and commuters on the New York City subway, asking them for their “hot take.” Think: Money does buy happiness, pigeons deserve to be treated better, adults should normalize napping, and summer is the worst season. (A hot take, for the uninitiated, is a strongly held, often deliberately provocative opinion that’s meant to get people talking.)
SubwayTakes is funny, and Rahma’s a great host. But the show is also doing something deeper. In a multiracial, polarized democracy, we’ve gotten remarkably bad at fighting well. When conflict arises, we tend to oscillate between avoiding it altogether and burning the house down.
Over the past five years, as I’ve been studying teams, groups, and families that fight well, there’s a dynamic often present in groups that can hold healthy heat: they can banter.
Disagreement doesn’t have to be threatening. It can be playful and warm and even be funny. And in popularizing and normalizing hot takes, Rahma is helping us remember how.
For the first time in Group Life, I’m teaching an idea from my upcoming book! In this week’s GROUP HELP Lab, we’ll explore why humor and banter are some of the most powerful tools we have for helping groups fight well. You’ll learn why hot takes are surprisingly pro-social, why Hot Takes Parties work, and how to use low-stakes disagreement to help your own friends, family, or team build the muscles for healthy conflict.
Join me tomorrow, Wednesday, July 15, at 12 pm ET on Zoom.
These labs are for GROUP LIFERS. If you’re a Group Lifer, you’ll find the Zoom link below. At 12 pm Eastern, click to join. You’ll enter the waiting room, and we’ll let you in as soon as we’re live. If you’re not yet a paid subscriber, become a GROUP LIFER today. For the cost of a sandwich a month, you’ll get access to this session, every replay, and our full library of GROUP HELP Labs.
I can’t wait to see you there.
As always,
Priya
P.S. Join me this Thursday, July 16, at 12 pm ET for a Substack Live with Rebecca Davis and Pete Davis, the directors of Join or Die, an Emmy-nominated documentary that explores how our declining participation in groups has reshaped American life. We’ll talk about the making of the film, what surprised them most, and why its message feels especially urgent today. GROUP LIFERS: Watch the film ahead of time here, then join the conversation here.