Last week I sat down with Christopher Pepper and Joanna Schroeder, the authors of Talk to Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow into Confident, Caring Young Men, for my first Book Talk Live.
It’s a practical, insightful, clear-eyed guide on how to talk to your boys about consent and friendship and pornography and power and screen time and bullying and dating and sex and substance use and anything else that might make you squirm. And frankly, it’s a master class on how to have dialogue on taboo subjects across generations with care.
Group life is not just about the “we,” it’s also about the “I.” Before we talk to our boys about any topic, Pepper and Schroeder ask us to check in with ourselves: What silences did I inherit? What words was I never given? What do I think about sexuality/whether women and men are equal/masculinity/consent/pornography? Where do I think kids should learn about these topics?
Like good facilitators, Pepper and Schroeder begin with first order questions. They help us get under the unspoken assumptions we each carry about who is capable of what and what roles we assume boys and men are supposed to be playing in society. And they give us the language and scripts to build bridges towards young people in a way that builds their confidence and care and lets them and us all practice.
As the last Live of September, we’re sharing it for free with all. I encourage you to share our conversation with the folks in your life raising young people. And I really recommend getting the actual book. These topics are a minefield for a reason, and Pepper and Schroeder are exquisite users of language to create connection.
As always,
Priya
