In the 1960s, sports talk radio hosts were struggling to fill their 24-hour-a-day programming. There was no way to stretch real reporting across that much airtime, so stations started inviting listeners to call in with “hot takes”: this coach should be fired, or that quarterback is horrible! Nobody needed to be right; they just needed to be loud enough to keep the phone lines lit.
You may have noticed the hot take is having a moment, whether that’s Kareem Rahma pulling strangers into debates on SubwayTakes, or you watched last week’s GROUP HELP Lab or joined this week’s GROUP HELP Do Lab on how to host a Hot Takes Party ;)
This week, we rolled up our sleeves and actually practiced building a group’s capacity for healthy heat by adding warmth and humor. It’s a sneak peek from my new book, THE ART OF FIGHTING. (And it’s one of my favorite parts of the book. If you want to pre-order it, go here. And if you want a signed copy, go here.)
As a reminder, a hot take is a controversial, low-stakes, personal opinion. For example, “burritos are better than tacos” is a low-stakes hot take. “Immigration policy needs to be reformed” is not a hot take. A hot take isn’t a values debate. It isn’t about identity or having the right answer.
Group Lifers can watch the full replay below (just click the play arrow on the video) to see where we landed on whether cats make better pets than dogs, and how silly conflicts can be a great way to deepen a group’s connection. (And if you’re not yet a Group Lifer, you can become one here for about the cost of a sandwich a month.)
As we practiced in the Do Lab, low-stakes arguing is good practice for high-stakes arguing, and the groups that are well-versed in holding healthy heat — whether that’s at a family dinner, in a Monday meeting, over a wedding guest list — are the ones that last.