Welcome to my new Substack — GROUP LIFE

Our collective life is ailing. And self-help is failing. We need group help.

Photo Credit: Ana Murphy

We are living through a group life crisis. I hear the chatter everywhere: Why does no one host anymore? Why are guests so flaky? Can people with kids and without still be friends? Are young people foolish or brilliant to avoid the office? When did a little conflict between friends become a cue to bounce rather than bother? Why don’t Americans party anymore? Why is a pro-democracy movement struggling to galvanize people? Sadly, these questions themselves seem to push us farther apart, making us lonelier and more isolated, instead of bringing us together.

Let me offer my hot take on the problem. Our culture is obsessed with self-help. But self-help isn’t helping us with these questions of our shared life. We need group help.

We live in an age of personal optimization: apps and devices to track our habits, books on productivity and mindfulness, podcasts about hacking our bodies. But we have fewer tools for group help — how to strengthen the vitality of our teams, clubs, friend groups, extended families, and communities. We devote endless time to cultivating the self, but when it comes to our groups, we just hope and pray for the best. If you know me, you know that I reject leaving what happens among us to chance. I believe that to avoid the loneliness, fragmentation, and hyper-individualism all around us, we need to become more literate about the health of the groups we belong to. How do we build the skills, habits, and rituals to help our groups thrive?

We need a group help revolution. I’m starting this Substack, GROUP LIFE, with the hopes of being part of it. And I hope you’ll join me.

Substack is a home for writers and communities. It’s simply the way I’ll keep sending you my letters by email, just like always — with a few new options to try if you’d like (more on this below). Best of all, it makes it easy for us to connect in one place — no complicated setup — and it allows me to share more with you, more often, while making it simple for you to join the conversation.

For the past five years, I’ve sent you monthly letters about specific gathering challenges, spotlighting the brilliant, creative, despite-all-odds ways people bring others together. And I’ve loved it. But I’ve been itching for a space where I can not just write, but where we can actually interact — and where I can teach and learn with you in real time.

GROUP LIFE will be part newsletter, part classroom, part salon, part hangout where we build and practice our skills to help the groups of our lives thrive. And, for the first time, I am offering a paid subscription – to become a GROUP LIFER – and learn more deeply with me through regular webinars, a member-only chat, conversations with other facilitators and thinkers and experts around our shared questions, and more.

And, not to worry, by being part of my newsletter community, you already have a free subscription. You don’t need to do a thing. You’ll keep getting my occasional letters in your inbox. (It will also come from a new email address: priyaparker@substack.com. Pro tip: To be sure they don’t get lost, mark this email as important so it always shows up in your inbox.)

As a thank you to those of you who have been with me since the very beginning — through the early days of this newsletter and now into GROUP LIFE — I’m offering 10% off a paid subscription if you join now.

Here’s what my GROUP LIFER/paid subscriber family will get:

• Join the GROUP HELP SESSIONS with me - twice-a-month live video sessions on real group-life challenges (like How to Host an All-Hands that Doesn’t Suck, How to Practice Generous Exclusion with Care, or How to Build Belonging Across Difference.) Think of these as part teaching, part hangouts, part Q&As.

• A private Group Chat with weekly prompts and reflections, where you can be in conversation with me and with each other.

• The ability to comment and respond to my letters, and read what others are sharing too.

• Access to the full replay library of Substack Lives and webinars.

• Extra tools, notes, and behind-the-scenes reflections that don’t make it into the wider world.

We’ll dig into how to build trust, hold conflict, create belonging across difference, shape rituals and culture, and know when to gather — and when to let go. We’ll break down why dinners, parties, and meetings so often fall flat, and I’ll coach you through the high-stakes moments in your own groups. We won’t just talk about it, we’ll practice it, week by week, in the groups you’re already part of. Give it a little time and people will be asking, what got into you? (In the best way.)

Why Substack?

There’s something happening on Substack that fills me with hope about the possibilities for a group life revolution. Substack isn’t just a tool. It’s a community, a scene, a growing network of people experimenting with new ways to connect. It is media raised the power of group life.

If you’ve never used Substack, think of it as a home for newsletters and live conversations, Q&As, and ongoing chats. You can read it in your inbox like always, or in the Substack app where it’s easier to chat, watch, and respond. (Also, if you’ve never used it before, don’t worry, we can learn it together. I’m still figuring it out, too.)

And, regardless of which version is right for you, I am grateful for you being part of this ride with me, and for you taking these tools and bringing them to the communities and people of your life.

Welcome to Group Life. My hope is that this next chapter helps us become the people in our families, neighborhoods, and workplaces who know how to hold, help, and strengthen the groups we belong to. I believe that in a fracturing and dark world and time, the skills of group life – learning how to come together, dealing with what happens when we come apart, being in community despite difference – matter more than ever. If you share that feeling, be part of this with me.

Warmest,

Priya

P.S. Here’s where you can join me in real time this month (and yes, these will be open to all paid and free subscribers!):

SUBSTACK LIVES – conversations with my friends and fellow creators, hosted right inside Substack. You’ll get an email reminder with the link to join, but you can add them to your calendars now by clicking on the links below.

• Sept 3, 8pm EST - Conversation with Anand Giridharadas

• Sept 4, 6:30pm EST - Conversation with Liz Plank

• Sept 11, 5pm EST - Conversation with Suleika Jaouad

• Sept 16, 3pm EST - Conversation with Katherine May

• Sept 30, 4:30pm EST - Conversation with Gretchen Rubin

To join on the day of, click the link in your reminder email or open the event in the Substack app. You can also watch them on your desktop in your browser.

GROUP HELP SESSION WEBINAR – a deeper, teaching session on Zoom. You can add this to your calendar by clicking on the link below, and then I’ll email you the Zoom link the day before.

Sept 10, 12pm EST – The #1 secret to thriving group life — and how to harness it